Place of Contradictions

The only way that I seem to be able to describe Kolkata is that it fits every adjective one can think of. It is a crazy place of many contradictions. It is beautiful and sad and exciting at every turn. Each day holds a new adventure or ten, as the case may be. The harder things are, the more we learn to laugh together, finding joy in the simplest of things, which is fitting I think.

When we walk along the street, there are always so many eyes, watching us, wondering at our foreign faces. In a city of much desperation, everyone wants something and we feel the immensity of this on a daily basis as we trek down the streets. I have been amazed at the ingenious and clever ways that people try to get you to stop by their shops, put rupees into their open hands or buy food for them. One man told us the other day that it was his birthday and entreated us to buy him a cake, just a little one, he said smiling. A shop-owner and friend nearby yelled back that the man claims it's his birthday everyday! Another man today began following us in the market, saying, "Remember me? Don't you remember me, friend?" Mothers ask us to buy milk for their babies and young women beg us to let them do henna on our hands and feet. There is a man that we pass everyday who has a board of balloons and a BB gun who says that we can shoot for just one rupee and we get a prize. Sometimes I wonder where people get these ideas. Everyone wants to convince you that they are selling the best product, can show you around the city like no one else, and for only a small fee. Like I said, it is a crazy place.

I work in Kolighat, Mother Teresa's first home, built in 1952. It was started for the "dying and destitute," a place for people to be taken care of with dignity. It is a difficult place, one that truly breaks my heart. The women there are so frail, in such need of gentle care and a kind spirit. The women who are able to speak thank us, while some others put their palms together over ther heads to say, "Namaste": the divine in me greets the divine in you. I have come to believe in a beauty between women, a sort of spirituality that is unspoken but beautiful. There is something very powerful in the help of one woman to another, especially cross-generationally and cross-culturally. We may be extremely different, but we share a unique femininity.

Some of the women at Kolighat are old, while others are quite young, suffering from extreme ailments. One woman, Krishna, I have built a connection with. Her eyes are bright and her short hair is a deep black without any specks of gray. Her smile is lovely with perfect teeth. I move her gently, as she cannot walk. I lift her arms to exercise her and massage her weak legs. She does not speak, but I sing to her and talk to her as I hold her. A few days ago, I looked into her eyes and told her that she was beautiful. Her face lit up with a huge, contagious smile. It was incredible. Later, she told me with hand motions that she is twenty. I am struck that she is younger than me, enduring so much. I hold her and I pray for peace.

Today was full of hope and new life, written in the midst of the dirt and grime. On the way to the homes this morning, I saw two tiny kittens, white and fluffy, barely newborn and not browned yet from the harsh city that is their first entrance into the world. On the way home from work, I saw a newborn baby, its umbilical cord still attached, laying in bright fabric on the side of the road. Next to him, his mother cooked some food in a pan, looking up at the foreigners who walked by.

All around there is life and there is death. There is sorrow and there is laughter. Old men are sleeping and children are running down the street with old tires. There is newness and there is the smell of everything old. It is a city of so much. Yesterday, the heavy rains came with a cyclone, reaching 75 miles per hour in some parts! Today, trees were down and men spoke of their homes falling to the ground in bits. "Yesterday is bad," one man said, "my home is finish. But today is good. I rebuild." That is Kolkata.